Time

Time is a big problem for me. I have days upon days of time, to fill with whatever I want, but when I wake up at midday and have my breakfast and scroll through reddit and instagram, I do not feel like doing anything. And as the day goes on, whatever I am doing, I can feel my time running out. Soon, it is 8pm and the day feels heavier. Nevertheless I still attempt to remind myself repeatedly of what I still have to (want to?) do. I struggle with the concept of letting time pass while engrossed in something. I do do it. When gaming or having sex or sometimes painting or reading. When I next look at the clock it scares me. Suddenly much less time to do everything else. I need to intrinsically realise that constantly nervously watching the clock and trying to get things done is not the way to spend free time. You live and experience and exist and learn when you’re engrossed. And if you do that all the time then you’ll have enough time to to everything you want.

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