When we’re cuddling, sometimes feel like I am safe from everything bad in the world and I can forget everything. He says I’m safe and I believe him.

Last night something bad happened, though. We were tired and drunk and had been smoking, but every time I closed my eyes I saw a disturbing image. Nothing like that has ever happened to me – I was dead tired and yet couldn’t close my eyes for longer than a second – for hours. He has a cough, was very worn out and had a bit of a temperature and when I told him, he didn’t really do much. I needed reassurance, cuddles or for him to tell me a story so that I could peacefully drift off, but he didn’t really acknowledge my problem and just went to sleep right next to me when I felt I needed his help. I had to deal with it myself.

To what extent can I trust his promise that “everything will be alright”? What can I and can’t I expect of him?


 Immunity from health problems

Protection from grief 

Help when he is very worn out 

For him to always be thinking ahead like me, and be efficient in the same ways

100% respect of my privacy (have now put a lock on my phone)

For him to always be in a good mood or a mood that matches mine 

Safety from personal failure 

Financial safety 

Legal issues

Mental health issues (?)

Can expect: 

Support in issues I’m struggling with

Help whenever I need it, unless he absolutely has no ability to 


For him to tell me when I’m out of line

Responsibility for when I feel he has wronged me 

Time and attention

Patience and teaching me patience


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